Tanlessko: Decreasing productivity with class

Who wants to get things done these days? Especially in Tanzania? This land has equatorial weather. It deserves to be enjoyed like our ancestor Lucy enjoyed it. Our primary goal is to lessen peoples’ productivity so we can all sit around and appreciate basic nothingness.

We are Tanlessko: The ultimate donors of darkness, soldiers of silence and champions of cheap.

We sincerely miss the dark ages. The fact that people want to keep doing things after the sun goes down baffles us. It is not natural and it is not human. For us, Tanzania needs a concerted effort to remember why darkness is important. That’s why we take pride in our daily remembrance drill of powerless hours. Sometimes we do not do as well as our customers wish and only hold the drill for a few hours. But most times, because we’re fully staffed and actively involved, we celebrate day and night-long drills.

We celebrate in silence as well. Our customers never want to hear when our darkness drills are imminent. Newspaper notices distract them and cause havoc on their daily schedules (at least for those who sneak some light in to read the papers). Lucky for them, we’re excellent at showing up to decrease your productive time without you even knowing who did it. Mind you, we’ve come a long way. In its founding days, Tanlessko was terrible at this. Amateur employees who were still new to the lessening trade blurted out notices constantly and leaked our methods. This used to throw our customers lives into disarray. But lately, our customers praise us for our mastery over the element of surprise and secrecy. In fact, nobody does silent surprises like Tanlessko does.

And of course, we wouldn’t be one of Tanzania’s leading big businesses if we didn’t look out for your financial interests. Our products are all over your home, and we spend massive amounts of time helping you get less from them. Tanlessko agents placed in every major neighbourhood across the country are trained to provide productivity-enhancing credits so that you can get less and less out of them 24 hours a day, 7 days a week. We champion the cause of cheapness and remain cheap since our founding. Tanlessko will soon venture into short-term lending activities because with all the money our customers have invested in us to remind them of the dark ages, we feel giving back is the right thing to do.

Tanlessko is hiring. We are looking for talented productivity reducers who have tr