I vividly remember the white-painted, slightly weathered bookshelf in my father’s old house. It stretched from wall to wall, packed so tightly there was barely space for another book. That was my favorite spot in the house. So, it’s no surprise that six-year-old me dreamt of writing a book that would one day find its place on countless shelves in countless homes. Or maybe I was just a bit weird.
For more than two decades, that moment has lingered—the seed of wanting to be a published author. Little did I know how often it would pull at my peace. Sometimes it’s a comforting nudge, but on other days, I wish I’d never planted that dream at all. Because now, it feels like a debt I have to pay. And as the saying goes, “We are living on borrowed time.”
Recently, I picked up So Long a Letter by Mariama Bâ for the fifth time—a classic I like to call her magnum opus. You could blame my third cup of coffee of that day, but I went down a rabbit hole and discovered she published it at age 51. Her first novel. Suddenly, I felt a sense of relief. Up until that point, I’d set an invisible deadline for my dream—thinking that if I hadn’t achieved it by a certain age, I’d failed. It’s a sad but common belief, and I’ve lived too long under its weight.
I wish I hadn’t.
Now, I’m no therapist. But in my attempt, or rather—journey to become a published author, I’ve picked up some decent researching and writing skills along the way. Hopefully, today, they might help us both.
Stop Comparing Your Timeline to Others
We all do it—compare our progress to someone else’s, especially in today’s world where social media has made it easier to be informed of other people’s achievements. It can feel overwhelming to see others accomplishing what you’re still striving for. Awards, recognitions, and success stories, often attached to ages, can make it seem like you’re falling behind. But comparing your journey to others is simply pointless. Everyone has different circumstances, resources, and timing.
Comparison is an act of violence against the self.
— Iyanla Vanzant
So, the next time you see a Forbes 30 Under 30 list and start feeling inadequate because you’re past that age, remember: your journey is your own, and your timeline doesn’t have to match anyone else’s.
Reframe “Overdue” as “In Progress”
Let go of the invisible deadline. If you are young, I am not implying you should wait around until you’re 51 to start working on your dream. Continue to put in the work. And instead of thinking of your dream as overdue, try to see it as simply in progress. A dream doesn’t have an expiration date; what matters is that you’re still moving toward it. If you’re working on it—whether through research, learning, or small actions—it’s alive. The small steps go a long way. In the end, you’ll be grateful for every moment you spent preparing.
Break Down Your Goal
I’m inspired to borrow wisdom from the communities along the East African coast, who long ago practiced farming and understood the power of consistent effort. You might have heard of the saying, “Haba na haba, hujaza kibaba,” A Swahili proverb reflecting on the idea that great achievements are made little by little, through steady, regular contributions. In agrarian and trade-based societies, it served as a reminder that wealth, success, or a fruitful harvest is never instant but the result of persistent and careful work over time.
In modern life, this philosophy holds just as true—especially when dreams are left unfulfilled because of inaction, often driven by the fear that the goal is too big or beyond our abilities. The key to overcoming the paralysis of an overwhelming goal is to break it down into manageable tasks. Take the first step, then the next, and the next… and before you know it, you’ve reached your destination.
Find Small Wins to Keep You Going
When the big goal feels far off, celebrate the small wins along the way. If the ultimate dream is to start your own music school, maybe you’ve begun offering evening vocal lessons to build initial interest. Or perhaps you’ve created an Instagram page with simple tutorials to help prospective students remember musical notes. Those small victories are stepping stones to your dream.
Success is the sum of small efforts repeated day in and day out.
—Robert Collier
Be Flexible With the Path
Your dream might need adjusting to align with who you’ve become. The destination matters, but sometimes the route changes, and that’s just part of the journey.
My colleague once told me about a 70-year-old Uber driver and how impressed he was with the old man’s ability to embrace new technology and adapt to changing times. It made me think about how someone of that age, who has lived in Dar es Salaam most of his life, must have an intimate knowledge of the city. He has witnessed the transformations of countless streets and the rise and fall of buildings, each with its own story and forgotten culture.
I may never know what his life’s dream was, but sometimes I imagine he wanted to be a teacher. His life, experiences, and age have exposed him to the rich history of Dar es Salaam. And what a great teacher he must be when a willing passenger listens to his stories about the city!
Flexibility, therefore, isn’t giving up—it’s making sure your dream can evolve with you. So, adapt!
I stand to be corrected, but I believe that if your journey has been too smooth, it might be worth questioning the magnitude of your dream. It’s completely normal to stumble along the way—I know I have, and so have many others. I don’t expect this article to be a magical fix that programs within you boundless positivity and a zeal like no other. What I hope it offers is a reminder that success often comes from incremental changes and persistent effort.
I, too, might stumble again, and you probably will as well. When you do, treat yourself with compassion while you’re down. Remember your destination, rise again, and, most importantly, be present throughout the journey.
The greatest glory in living lies not in never falling, but in rising every time we fall.
— Nelson Mandela
